Do you ever lie awake at night worrying about what others think of you? I've found myself in this position countless times in my life. It's something that's held me back on many occasions and it's a concern I hear others vocalise a LOT.
As humans we have this desire to be "liked" by everyone and sometimes we even make up stories about what others think that have no rationale other than what's inside our heads. Doesn't this seem crazy when you think about it?
Our desire to be liked can be extreme, including spending money we don't have to buy the latest clothing, extravagant holidays or expensive cars, to "keep up with the Joneses". When I was at school & university I felt I needed material things to be part of the "in" crowd and I cared desperately what others thought. This made me insecure and often dissatisfied.
Sometimes I still care TOO much and I get stressed and stop doing what I truly want because of this stupid fear raising its ugly head. Then I catch myself & recall the techniques and tips I've learned over the past 5 years to lessen my concerns & refocus energy onto myself. Worrying about what others MAY think is BS and it's not serving me or you!
I am passionate about this because I really want to help people feel good. I share my stories & personal strategies in the hope it helps others. I know this irrational fear can sabotage your happiness if you let it.
If what other people think takes centre stage in your life and you place more importance on this than what you think of yourself, you're likely to be holding yourself back from what you REALLY, REALLY want and you won't feel satisfied or fulfilled.
Here are 10 things I do to remind myself that I should NOT jeopardize my own happiness for the fear of what someone else "may" think.
1. Write a list of my top ten achievements and why I am proud of myself for achieving them.
2. Think about the people who support me and love me for who I am.
3. Be true to myself - remind myself of my highest values and why what I am doing now aligns most closely with those values.
4. Look at my vision board and remind myself of all the things I really want to achieve in life (Here's how to make one if you don't have one).
5. Ask myself if this person's opinion will help me reach my goals or pay my bills.
6. Ask myself if this concern will matter/be relevant in 5 years time.
7. Ask myself “What’s the worst thing that can happen if this person really has an opinion of me". I probably made it up in my head anyway!
8. Try to accept that I can't make everybody happy.
9. Spend more time with my tribe - phone a friend or speak to someone in my family who I know has my best interests at heart.
10. Stop being a perfectionist and accept my flaws.
So what happens when you stop caring what others think so much?????
1. You will start doing things you want to do, not what you think you should do.
2. You will start focusing your energy on your passions & people who matter most instead of aiming to please EVERYONE.
3. You will feel connected to yourself and aligned to your highest values because you'll be doing more things that make you happy and things that fit with what you really want in life for yourself and your family.
4. You will realise that other people's opinions say more about them than they do about you. When someone criticises you or another, it's usually because of something that's an issue for them and not you.
5. Your fear of failure will greatly reduce & you'll stop trying to prove yourself because the only person you have to please is yourself and your nearest and dearest.
I hope this is helpful.
I'd love to hear other people's experience of overcoming this fear and if any of my strategies resonate with you.
Happy Tuesday lovelies x